A Work in Progress

2 years ago I threw all of my possessions in a uhaul and moved back home, to flee. Twice I watched the sun rise over the dashboard as I drove straight from Boulder to Long Island. Weakened by defeat, afraid my dreams were unattainable, and craving change; home represented everything I wanted for my future – family, a reset button, and a livelihood.

1 year ago I was going on dates with anyone who liked my HowAboutWe profile, spent my evenings and weekends working for someone that under appreciated yet over paid me, re-committed myself to my dreams, and attempted to mend the broken relationship with my mother. I yearned for attention like an adolescent and searched for it in all the wrong places. I leaned on people who clearly didn’t give a damn. I longed to validate my dismissal of Boulder and leaving behind my dreams the minute it got tough. 

Now I have a growing coaching business, am having my longest stint of injury-free running since 2011, and spend my time between runs with a boss that appreciates and respects me. I’ve come to terms with the fact that not all of the people I want a relationship with are going to want the same in return. And I only go on dates with 1 man, who’s genuine admiration for me being the girl across the table makes me awkwardly blush yet simultaneously glow with happiness. 

I am still far from being fit enough to reach my running goals. And I work more hours for less pay. Somtimes I cry for no good reason. I am insecure and overindulge in self-ridicule. But I’m a work in progress. 

You dreamed a dream and they said “pay no mind” but, oh, momma said “girl, faith ain’t for the blind.”

6 thoughts on “A Work in Progress

  1. I admire your courage of doing what you are doing and writing about it and letting us know how your feel.
    Keep it up like this and I wish you that you always find the strength and solution to fulfil your next step, goal and wish.
    My experience is that there is never failor only experience. Either experience how todo it or not how todo it, but at the end its just another experience from which we can learn. Wish you all the best on your journey. Remember why you run and enjoy.

  2. Allie. You are a true inspiration and I will continue to follow your journey!
    At age 46, I am new to running (only 15 months in) and am working on form to prevent injury
    And improve my speed! I am in total awe with your running speeds and have
    A lot of respect for your hard work and determination!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s